Lion's Tactical Guide to Incorrect Quotes

 SPECIAL THANKS TO SCATTERPATTER FOR CREATING THEIR INCORRECT QUOTES TOOL, WHICH YOU CAN TRY OUT BY CLICKING THIS (https://incorrect-quotes-generator.neocities.org/)

I C U, I C V, We Know U & I R V

Number of Characters Named: One / 1 / I / 001

Prompt Count: 33/36/306 =  3gpp 36.306," Apparently (Thanks a Lot, "CoPilot")

.

V: You know how I roll.
V: And I’m not talking about that time I fell into a pile of dung at the foot of a hill.

V: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

V: People are always asking me if I'm a morning person or a night person.
V: And I'm just like, 'Buddy! I'm barely even a PERSON!'

V: Goodnight moon.
V: Goodnight tree.
V: Goodnight ghosts that only I can see.

V: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.

V: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress

V, threatening the others with a paintball gun: Listen... Life comes at us fast. We don't know what life is gonna give us... And today, it's gonna give you... a paintball!

V: bitches b like “im baby” but have childhood trauma and neglect like wtf do u know about being baby u were forced to grow up from an early age anyways I’m bitches

V: Some of you may die, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.

V: If you can’t beat them, dress better than them

V: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

V: My life isn’t as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look like.

V: You seem familiar, have I threatened you before?

V: Not trying to brag or anything, but I can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so...

V: Dear friends, your Christmas gift this year… is me. That’s right, another year of friendship. Your membership has been renewed.

V: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck

V: You can de-escalate any situation by simply saying, 'Are we about to kiss?'
V: Doesn't work for getting out of speeding tickets, by the way.

V: I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.

V: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'Haven’t decided yet' is typically a good response.

V: If I'm really as evil as you say I am, then have the gods strike me down where I stand.
*Lightning strikes V*
V: Ha! Nice try, jackass! Next time, give it your A-game!

V, playing a VR game: You see, that’s the thing. It PROBABLY is fine. It’s PROBABLY 100% okay. There are PROBABLY no spiders in this headset.
V: BUT- as you may be able to relate to- If you find a spider in your headset, and then have to put that headset on to play video games...
V: YoU jUsT dOnT gEt ToO cOMfOrTaBlE.

V: You think I really give a fuck? I can’t even read.

V: Fool me once, I’m gonna kill you

V: I’m going to defeat you with the power of friendship! ... And this knife I found.

V: You wanna see how hardcore I am?
V: *punches wall*
V:
V: Take me to the hospital.

V: Okay okay stop asking me if I'm straight, gay, bi, whatever. I identify as a FUCKING THREAT.

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